Saturday, March 17, 2007

St. Paddy's

I am not a big fan of St. Patrick's Day. It probably has to do with all of the Irish nuns I had in elementary school, and their... negative... attitude toward all the little Kanuck's in St. Mary of the Seven Dolors, maybe it was the Ryan family across the street, whatever the case it has been influenced by a group of people who will tell you they are Irish, but have never set foot in Ireland. What it generally means for me is that I can either stay at home or spend the day dodging belligerent drunks in green who are shithammered by noon. And for my money, Kelley Green is one of the most hideous shades ever perpetrated. On top of this, we have had a major snow,rain, sleet and shit storm here in good old Boston, which has knocked out my land line and consequently, my DSL. I'm cranky, I am without internet, and I am in fucking Starbucks, paying for T-mobile, because the Finagle a Bagel closed up shop on Newbury Street and I can't think of anywhere else to mooch free internet bandwidth.

To add insult to injury, the friggin' parade isn't until tomorrow, so that means all of the asshats will have an extra day to make drunken nuisances of themselves.

All that said, the sodden are not the true enemy. the true enemy is Verizon! I called the phone company up, and got one of those avatars that is suppose to make me feel like I am talking to a real person. The similarity is quite striking. Both are clueless, unhelpful and both will only schedule a repairman several days in the future, and give you a service window that encompasses a 12 hour period. These miserable shites have been robbing me blind for years. I am usually coming in at around 100.00+ a month for phone service and internet. I think the day has arrived to dump the whole mess and get a cable connection and live with my cell phone. I have a pay as you go plan, but I really don't see it making a huge difference in my life. I spend next to no time on the phone, and even if I do rack up more minutes it will still be cheaper than what I am currently paying for my land line.

Of course this is going to involve getting involved with Comcast! I hate to imagine the negotiations since I only want internet access, not cable TV. It is Unamerican of me I realize, but I don't watch TV. I do not watch, Survivor, Desperate Housewives, American Idol or any of the other narcotics that are being televised to a willing public and I have to say that they all sound so insipid, I have no interest in watching them. This kind of leaves me bereft of water cooler conversation, but it means that we have to talk about more interesting subjects like, our sex lives and speculating about the private lives of our co-workers.

As I read this, I realize it is all ranting. Too bad! I have been inconvenienced and therefore Verizon's corporate headquarters should be razed to the ground and the earth should be sown with salt, and all who are in power there and their minions should be sold into perpetual servitude.

As soon as I come up with a plan, I'll let you know.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Gettin' much?

Yesterday over at JMG, the open thread for the day was "Sex without love, or love without sex?" It was a pretty lively time on the comments, but what gave me pause were all the guys who were saying "now that I'm (insert age over 45) I am not that interested in sex." WTF?

As someone who will never see 50 again, all I can say is that I'm still happy to do the driving, my problem is finding someone who wants to get on the bus! Geez Louise, guys, what are you eating?

I'll admit, I thought when I was younger that my sex drive would kind of dry up and blow away once I got past, say 40. Not so much. I also thought that it was a little unseemly for anyone over a certain age to be engaging in the horizontal mambo. Not that that stopped me from participating in some fun and games with men who were rather richer in years.

Now that I am in that demographic, and some of my friends are either pushing or past 60, I can say that there are plenty of other men out there that are still willing to get into the game and take one for the team.

I am not sure why this bugged me so much. Do I feel like these guys have succumbed to the youth culture and have just given up, or do I feel envy because they have outgrown a need for sex and can now dedicate their extra energy to, I don't know, macrame?

It gave me something to think about, but I'll have to get back to you on it. I have a hot date coming up.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Bringing Sexy Front

I was checking out my buddy Mike's blog yesterday and he was... well... gloating over the fact that he has the metabolism of a hummingbird. He extemporized a bit on the satisfaction he enjoys watching others who have to watch what they eat and I might have been feeling a bit sensitive on the topic, having gone from 155 when I got sick to 160 when I got on the scales this morning.

I might also have been just a teeny, tiny bit harsh in my comment. So, Mikey, baby, I love your abs! I have been fondly gazing at them, as well as all of the other equally delightful parts that are Mike ever since you became my gardening neighbor. Long may your metabolism reign so that all may enjoy the pulchritude that is Mike. I didn't mean a word of it, except the part about keeping your shirt off.

See ya' back in the garden soon honey. More picnics and margarita's? Whaddya think?

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Who's your Daddy?

I was in Monkey's office this morning complaining, because I was having to attend to yet more scut work. I suggested posting a sign that said,"Clean up after yourselves, you fucking pigs". Monkey assured me it would be against policy to do so. He did however suggest I post this picture with the legend. "I AM NOT YOUR MOMMY".

I showed the picture to one of the straight boys here at work. He said he'd be scared.

Back to work

Life is getting back to normal. The problem is getting things back to normal. In my absence things at work managed to implode, and I am trying to deal with unforeseen problems. I have spent the past couple of days setting up meetings with a rather diverse group of people in order to deal with this mess, and running a diplomatic mission getting everyone calmed down. One of the lessons I learned in retail is that dealing with people who are upset involves mostly letting them explain why they are so upset. As long a people feel they have been listened to, then when you explain to them why you can not immediately address their problems, and give them some assurance that you are doing everything you can to try and make things better for them, they tend to calm down. It helps if you can inject a little humor into the situation.

One of the crisis that I am trying to deal with is that one of our offices was flooded when a pipe in the HVAC system burst a pipe. We are now going to have to have the room recarpeted, repainted and refurnished. I called in the house designer and we met with the affected co-workers. In a side conversation, one of the inhabitants of the affected office mentioned that 2 of our higher ups who have a "VERY IMPORTANT VISITOR" were in a tizzy because, due to a certain lack of planning on their part, things were not in place for this visit. Consequently, they were running around like a couple of teenage girls on prom night who couldn't find their shoes in what my grandmother would have referred to as, a state. Because the computer system was down, the job took a little longer and was further impaired by the presence of the hand wringers. One co-worker mentioned this to me, and was speculating about their uncharacteristic need to please.

I looked at her and just said, "Oh girlfriend, they were in my office earlier. They were spreading like a couple of 2 dollar whores for this guy."

She gave me a slightly critical look and said, "I knew there was a reason I like you."

So it goes. Currently, we are in crisis mode. In the way of all things, the state of affairs we are experiencing will become the norm and people will get on with business, with the occasional hump in the road that will be bitched about and overcome.

In my personal life, I am working at getting that back on track as well. Monday and Tuesday I was back in the gym, getting back into my routine. I was doing back, shoulders and triceps, all of which are now sore. Thursday and Friday will involve chest, biceps and legs, so by Saturday I should have the full matching set. I am hoping that I will be able to do something about the 3 pounds that I put on sitting around the house stuffing my face and feeling sorry for myself. While I feel like I am on the high road to turning back into an ambulatory pear, I ran into the trainer, who asked me if I had lost weight. So I guess it's not that bad.

I also got an email from FB who has been missing in action for a few weeks. It would seem that he has also been having health and personal problems, but is now ready to catch up on things with me. I am unreasonably happy about hearing from FB. I have made a concerted effort over the past 17 years to keep any type of romantic involvements as non-committal as possible. I have no one to blame but myself, this is what I get for keeping company with someone who is actually a nice guy. Whatever. We are suppose to get together next week, when hopefully the gross patch of scabby ugliness I am currently sporting on my mid section will have cleared up. I hope FB is ready. This is gonna take at least a couple of hours, and we may have to rinse and repeat. It's been a while.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Back in the saddle

I must have had a good workout this morning. I feel like my arms are going to fall off. That's all.

Monday, March 12, 2007


Sometimes I wonder why I spend
The lonely night dreaming of a song
The melody haunts my reverie
And I am once again with you
When our love was new
And each kiss an inspiration
But that was long ago
Now my consolation
Is in the stardust of a song


Hoagy Carmichael: music

Mitchell Parish: lyrics

This morning I was awakened by the clock radio to the sounds of Nat King Cole singing "This Must Be Love". It was a Cole orgy going on, and as I worked my way through coffee, feeding the cat and getting ready to head out the door I was serenaded by the soundtrack of my childhood. In the 45 minutes I had before I left for the gym and work I heard a lot of songs than harkened back to the early 60's when I was a small child. Among the selections was Stardust which is for me even more of a signature song for Cole than even Mona Lisa or My Sweet Lorraine. Since I am dragging you down Memory Lane with me, I figure I might as well give you an idea of what I looked like at any earlier time in my life. This is me when I was about 35, still had hair, and wasn't grey. Not the prettiest girl in the class, but not that bad.