Thursday, March 26, 2009

Goal weight

I have stumbled upon a new method of achieving your goal weight as we prepare for swim suit season.

No, not the stomach flu. That's for amateurs. How hard is it to lose weight when everything you eat goes through you like a dose of salts.

No, no. All you have to do is catch a simple head cold and have it settle in an ear. If the continuous pounding headache isn't enough to put you off your chow the sensation of having a nail driven into the side of your head combined with bouts of dizziness that have about the same effect as being on a boat in rough water will kill any desire to eat, no matter how hungry you feel. That's the real key here. No matter that you experience hunger pangs, just the thought of consuming solid food will turn your stomach.

Yesterday I had one portion of pudding. Not the whole bowl, but what it says on the package is one portion which according to the manufacturers of Jello pudding is 1/4 cup or 1/4 of the entire batch.

Why pudding? It had a certain innocuous nursery appeal, I associate pudding and ginger ale with childhood illnesses. I really couldn't think of anything less offensive. It stayed down, but I can't say I enjoyed it much.

At this rate I will be ready to be seen in my new squarecut swimming trunks in a matter of days. The one problem with that is that the weather will not be ready for my new swimsuit for at least 2 more months. Possibly longer if the weather continues to be uncooperative. However I am looking at this as a chance to develop an aversion to food. Or at least yummy, delicious, bad for you, tastes so good food. If I work this window of opportunity perhaps I can train myself to loath the mere thought of pork chops and focus on things like broth and dry toast as being truly the things that will be satisfying and delicious summer treats and not a big plate of fried chicken and potato salad.

Still, hope springs eternal in the human breast and perhaps I will be able to keep my weight down to 160 for the warm months. But preferably without the standing on a rolling deck sensation.