Friday, October 10, 2008

Nonna update

I went over to the hospital today to see Nonna. She seems to be doing well, though she's on drugs, so she wasn't her usual ornery self. Still, she seemed glad to see me.

I had to go through a list of people who sent their good wishes, which included the entire staff, all of the faculty, the grad students and a couple of former grad students who are now full fledged doctors and are poisoning the minds of susceptible youth. Especially, my friend Dr. H. but that's a different story.

The thing about Nonna is that she is pig headed, ornery, bossy, opinionated, and can be down right cantankerous. And that's why people love her. She always seems to know when someone needs a gentle hand and when they need a clip in the ear to get them moving. What she didn't seem to know is how many people have come to care about her.

After I got done listing off all the people she knew, I mentioned that people who read my blog were also sending out good wishes for her and she was pretty impressed, by the way Willym, that someone lit a candle for her in Rome!

We are still waiting for the results from pathology, but I think just knowing how many people are pulling for her has done her a lot of good.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Personal space

Thanks, Mr. iPhone Guy on the bus. I just wanted to let you know I am really impressed. The way you sat down next to me and established that your required personal space was one and a half seats, right off the bat. It was masterful. And your balls! They must be ginormous, since you were sitting like you had a basketball between your legs. Wow! No really, it was amazing. Especially, since it's not like you were grossly overweight.

Then when you whipped out your iPhone! I mean golly, talk about letting people know what an individual you are by making sure that everyone within eyeshot saw that you too have what is probably the most ubiquitous consumer item on the market. It just made me sit up and take notice. I said to myself, "Now here is a true individual, a risk taker, not some shallow cretin who has pissed away several hundred bucks on a cell phone and now has to make sure everyone knows that he has the cell phone status symbol of status symbols." No sirree, Bob. I could tell by the masterful way you were fiddling with it propped up on the back of the seat. The proud way you were able to establish for anyone that looked in your direction that you had an IPHONE!

Also there was the masterful way you selected your musical choice. At least 3 times. The things you learn watching other people. I would never have imagined that it took that much elbow action to operate a touch screen. It left me breathless and not just because you kept ramming me with your elbow while you were trying to go through the not particularly complicated menus.

All in all it was an amazing performance you friggin' asshat. What do you do for an encore? Step on old peoples feet and push pregnant women out of your way?

A city bus is PUBLIC transportation, jackass! Not your fucking personal limo. Learn how to confine your stupid ass to your own seat. Keep your goddamned elbows in when you are playing with your dumbass toys and try acting like a considerate adult and not some spoiled 14 year old. Especially since you, like me, will never see 50 again either that or you look like hell for your age. Whatever the case, you're not cute and even if you were, I still shouldn't have to put up with this stupid shit when I am on my way into work in the morning.

Thanks again iPhone guy. I hope someone improves your day as much as you improved mine!

Think good thoughts

If you've read Willym's blog, you have heard about Nonna's. Italian women who will give you advise, mother you whether you want it or not and if they like you, feed you.

At work we have our own Nonna. You have heard me mention her, usually in connection with her making incredibly fattening and delicious treats which she then brings in and feeds me. If you know anything about older Italian women, you also know that you never turn any of these offerings down if you know what is good for you. If my waistline has been in danger, my tastebuds have been very happy.

Nonna has bullied, laughed at and babied me since I have started this job. She is also, my pal, La Simpatica's mom.

Today she is going into the hospital for surgery.

The situation is rather serious, but the outlook is optimistic. None the less everyone at work is very concerned. So, If you find you have a spare minute today, think good thoughts about Nonna. I know La Simpatica will appreciate it and we need Nonna back at work to keep us all whipped into shape.

Nonna update I heard from La Simpatica and it sounds like good news for Nonna. The doctors said there were no surprises and the surgery was going to take less time than they thought. All in all it is sounding pretty good, so with any luck Nonna will be back to keeping us all toeing the line in a few weeks. Thanks to everyone for their good thoughts and wishes.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Todays Rant

I for one am getting a little tired of hearing the Republicans complaining about "East Coast Liberal Elitists".

I grew up in rural Vermont, so all I can really say about that is, fuck you, you fucking, fucktards!

To hear this snotty, self serving, horse shit coming out of the mouths of people like Sarah Palin and her merry troupe of ignoramuses causes my blood to boil.

It isn't even so much the wrong headed assumption that anyone who is within spitting distance of the Atlantic Ocean spends all their time reading Kirkegaard and listening to Philip Glass atonal music. (which by the way makes me want to ram sharpened pencils in my ears just to make it stop) What sends me up the wall is that the implication that anyone who uses their brain for anything more than some extra padding to keep the top of their skull from caving in is somehow the incarnation of evil and is unpatriotic to boot.

I would like to remind all of these good, solid citizens who seem to show all the intellectual curiosity of a curb stone that the country was founded by a group of east coast intellectual elitist. Not by a bunch of the guys who'd decided that a revolution would be a good idea, after a few brews while watching the game on TV.

I also find it more than annoying the assertion that living on the east coast means that you are incapable of as much dumbass as people in the flyover states. I really must beg to differ. I personally have witnessed as much unthinking ignorance, fear of the unknown and aversion to introspection here in the east as I have ever heard about coming out of the midwest. I feel compelled after over a half a century of living on the east coast to defend our local morons. You need only spend a day here in Boston, paying attention to what comes out of peoples mouths to hear as much ignorant bigotry, homegrown piety or just out and out stupid as you would be able to hear in Nebraska, or Wasilla, Alaska.

Therefore, I would like to thank the republican poster child for stupidity, Sarah "the Rapture" Palin to shut her fucking cakehole about East Coast Liberal Elitists. Why should we listen to her? Because she's as dumb as box of rocks? Or is it the idea "You can trust me, I'm an ill informed, ignorant jackass"? Personally, I don't trust someone who is so fucking stupid that they can't even recognize other people who are just as moronic as she is.

Therefore, I would like to urge all of the idiots here on the east coast to vote against McCain/Palin. They are trying to deny you your god given right to be just as fucking stupid as anyone else in this great country of ours.