Friday, August 01, 2008

Dog days (NSFL)

(Warning: the photo on this post is NSFL and may force Sage to bleach her eyes again)

Happy August! Hard to believe, huh? Here in the northeast, or at least my little part of it we have been having a rather humid time of it. I am not convinced that it is all that hot. We have been largely enjoying temperatures in the 80's. The problem has been that the humidity level has been on a par with a steam room.

I don't want to complain too much about the tropical conditions. I am willing to adopt the solution of just slowing down a little. No matter how hot or humid, it still beats the cold.

If there is any real problem, it is that higher brain functions seem to have shut down for the season. That and I don't have air conditioning in my apartment, which usually isn't a big deal, except when it gets hot and stays hot. Then the problem is the lack of sleep with the end result that leaves me,let's just say, not sharpest knife in the drawer.

On top of which, I have just been feeling plain old crappy for the past several days.

I figure:

a.) I have developed an allergy to something I didn't know I was allergic to.

b.) I have caught the summer cold that is rumored to be going around.

c.) I have a sinus infection and just don't know it.

d.) It's summer and I am busy channeling my inner 10 year old and just don't feel like working when I should be at the beach.

Whatever the case, I have been dragging my tail and not feeling like doing much of anything other than try and sleep, which isn't happening because it has been too hot in my apartment to get any solid sleep.

So, what it comes down to is finding ways to either beat the heat or ways to manage the situation. I have been drinking lots of water, tap and fizzy, sitting around staring into space, reading, listening to music and participating in other non-activities that can easily be accomplished by saaaaayyyyyy...... a rock.

Not that this is a bad thing. I think we tend to forget that this is what summer is for. Being lazy.

Here in the north, you have to keep moving just to stay warm in the winter months. It's the law of the north, keep moving or die.

Right now it's all about trying to stay cool. With that in mind, I have been thinking about CB's recent posts about his new manties. While they are quite fetching and I am sure add a certain something to his life, I don't feel like adding an extra layer really moves me towards my summer comfort zone.

Here's what I have been wearing under my shorts to keep the air circulating.

Can't you just feel the cool breeze?

And yeah, I know this is a shameless attempt to get more views on my blog, but you do what you gotta do. Next time I'll post pictures of the cat.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Supreme Leader

RG and Knucklecrack have announced their candidacy for president.

I say they are aiming too low.

I have decided to become supreme ruler. It won't be pretty either. It's going to be sort of like having to do what your mother tells you. And you will do what you're told too.

Why, you ask?

Because I said so, goddammit! That's why!

Seriously. I think at this point this is what America really needs. Screw change and hope. This country needs to be sent to it's room so it can think about what it's done. And I am taking away the toys too. If you can't prove you need some enormous gas guzzling vehicle for work, it's going in the car crusher. And the first one to start whining that they "need" an SUV because there is a slope in their suburban driveway gets a good clip in the ear.

No more paranoid ravings. No more picking on the neighbors kids. America will learn how to behave itself and act like an adult or it will be grounded and loose all of it's television privileges.

And while your in your room you can clean up that goddamn mess! Starting with the crap you've left lying around in every body of water and landfill in the country. And don't even think about creating any more messes off shore or in the arctic. If I see you even looking in that direction it's going to go very hard with you.

Americans will also learn how to play nicely and share. I hope the Congress and Senate brought enough unlimited lifetime health care for everyone, otherwise I am confiscating theirs and they won't get it back until they let everyone and I do mean everyone have some. Even if you don't like them and I don't care if you think they smell bad!

Speaking of sharing, the rich and corporations can start picking up their share of the tax burden.

I'm sure I forgot plenty, but don't worry. I'll be checking everything while you are in your room. And you can just behave yourself while you're up there.

Don't make me come up those stairs!