Saturday, January 19, 2008

It's, like, a fish

I was out shopping with C. today. We went to Ocean State Job Lot to look for a shower curtain and view the wonderful horrors on sale there.

Having got my shower curtain (2.49) and a yoga mat (6.99) we went to the check out line. A rather awful mother and her daughter came up behind me. The mother was of a rather vinegary disposition and the daughter most kindly put, was a ditz.

Mother: Is this a checkout line? (petulantly) Where's your grandmother?

Daughter: She's around.

Mother: Well, go find her.

Daughter: Can't she, like meet us at the car?

Mother: I don't think so! She doesn't know where it's parked.

Daughter: Okay, take this.

Mother: What is it?

Daughter: You put, like, your iPod in it. It, like, lights up. And then it dances. It's, like, a fish.

Overhearing conversations like this, make shopping in only the finest stores worth every penny.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Voices carry

Sunday just isn't Sunday unless RG and I go out looking for trouble. I have a vision of the 2 of us, with blue rinses and walkers out marauding the streets of our metropolis, scaring the tourists.

Yesterday was no exception. In addition, we had Atari Age in tow, the poor child.

We had met up at the Charbuck's in the Pru Barnes and Noble. After a certain amount of coffee consumption we decided to head out and take a look at things and began walking. Eventually, we found ourselves at Downtown Crossing, which was at one point the retail destination for the city. The area is closed to motor traffic with the exception of delivery and emergency vehicles and has been for many years now a pedestrian mall. Consequently, it is in the great scheme of things fairly quiet, for a busy urban area.

For those of you have been denied the joy that is RG in person, one thing you should understand is that, like small children and the hard of hearing, RG has no indoor voice. If RG says anything, it is heard by anyone and everyone in a 20 block radius.

With that in mind we had got to the corner of Washington and Franklin when RG announced, and I do not use the word announce lightly, "Can we turn here? I want to go get some poppers."

It was quite the conversation stopper. I looked at him and said, "RG, we're using our indoor voices."

In his usual form, he just gave me one of his "I'm such a stinker" smiles and raising his voice, declared, "I think the hookers are over this way."

It's always an adventure.

Natures skin care

I am sitting in my office while a snowstorm rages outside. While most of the other schools in the area were able to display some common sense and close, we on the other hand stayed open.

In spite of the fact that there are no classes and probably 80% of the staff commutes in from the outer burbs, we are open. The fact that there will be an enormous absenteeism rate today and consequently it will be next to impossible to get anything done leaves the forces that be undeterred. We are open.

I also predict that we will close early. Which will tick me off even further, since it means that I will get to traipse back home in this crap, when I could have been sensibly ensconced in my nice, warm, dry apartment.

On the upside, as RG has pointed out, walking in a blizzard does a great job at exfoliating your face. I'm positively radiant!