Sunday, August 22, 2010

Full moon

A while ago I got a call on my way home from a friend with benefits, who spontaneously asked me out for a drink. I, being all about the spontaneity, said sure.

We had a couple of drinks, caught up on what has been going on in our respective lives and basically shot the shit. Once the 2 drink, work night limit had been hit we decided to leave and he offered to give me a lift home. He was parked over near a friends apartment that he was checking on while said friend was on vacation. By the time we got there, we were both in desperate need of evicting the previously consumed beers. The apartment we were stopping at has one of those peculiarities of old Boston apartments, multiple old locks that are difficult to get to cooperate. Needless to say, this only heightened the sense of urgency that we were experiencing. Consequently, once we were through the door my friend said, "You can go first." He had that,"My bladder is about to burst look on his face" as he said this and while I appreciated his gallantry, I opined that we weren't going to see anything we hadn't seen before and we should just use the john together.

As I mentioned, aside from being a good friend, this fellow comes with a complete benefits package. Now the thing about benefits packages is that after a while the friendship tends to move to the fore and the benefits are sort of like vacation time.They accumulate in the background, we rarely take advantage of said benefits anymore. Sure we talk about it, we might even fantasize about how it would be nice to spend a week on the beach, but life sort of intrudes and we never seem to find the time. This shouldn't imply that we don't still have a good time, just that it doesn't seem all that urgent anymore. But we were there, our penises were there and it seemed like a good idea. And like I said, the night was all about being spontaneous. Besides there was the added soup├žon of naughtiness involved in doing it on someone else's bed while they were away and that bed just happened to be in the next room!

Suffice it to say, a good time was had by all but we both needed to be in our respective offices the next morning so there wasn't a lot of lingering. As we were getting ready to head out the door, we heard one of the neighbors go up the stairs. We exited and friend with benefits (hereafter referred to as FWB) started trying to figure out the locks. Suddenly, we hear "OoohhhHHH" coming from upstairs then "OOOOOHHH YEEAAAHHHH!" It would seem we weren't the only people with naughty on the mind. This caused us to give each other the international OMGWTF look and respond in the manner of mature, adult, middle aged men. We start snickering like 12 year olds. The noises continued and FWB tried valiantly to figure out which key went in which lock and then desperately attempt to get the lock to work all the while both of us are convulsing with suppressed laughter and doing a passable imitation of Muttley as the sounds of passions plaything continued to waft down the stairs. To complicate matters, FWB starts making sotto voce remarks along the lines of "Dude!, Hey dude, get a room, Oh that's right you have a room!" and "Dude, close the door, dude!" So, FWB and I stood there listening to this chorus of ecstatic, high volume moaning as FWB manfully fought his way through the mysteries of his friends ancient and paranoid system of locks.

As FWB was trying to get the very last lock locked we heard, "OH yeaaAAAHHHH! RIGHT THERE!!!" FWB looks at me and says, "That had to be the finger up the butt." As it turns out, at this point, our voces must no longer have been quite as soto as we thought because the immediate silence that followed was deafening. As if "finger up the butt" had been the magic incantation like "open sesame" the last lock clicked shut. With that FWB and I burst out of the building laughing like hyenas.

Walking to the car, we looked up into the evening sky at the full moon floating overhead. "Full moon,'said FWB "it figures." This observation set us off in gales of laughter again, and getting into the car we drove off, laughing into the night.