Wednesday, October 10, 2007

The Battle of the Bulge

I went and saw Fred yesterday. He's my 20 year old doctor. I like Fred, he's very laid back and seems to be blessed with an uncommon amount of common sense. He is not constantly ordering tests and blood work. He actually listens to me when I talk to him and seems to feel that as long as I'm not going out and doing anything particularly stupid, I should be fine.

We talked about my bout with this last cold. The verdict being that there is a nasty cold going around. Then it was time to talk about things in a more general sense.

"Yeah, I know. I've put on weight, but it's mostly gym weight."

Fred gave me a somewhat skeptical look and we talked a bit about what constitutes an acceptable BMI. Basically, I was told I could get my body fat down to between 10 and 14 percent and that would be fine because of my activity level.

We also talked about other fun things, like when I should schedule my next colonoscopy. Not for another year or two, thank goodness. It isn't the actual procedure, it's the days before when you have to "clean yourself out". As my brother, who, being 4 years older than myself is a pro at this one pointed out the first time I had to go through this ordeal, "You overdose on laxatives and then after you've shit your brains out and feel like you couldn't shit anymore, you crap out your lower tract." It goes without saying that I am more than happy to forego this particular procedure for a couple more years.

Then is was time to get prodded and get my annual flu shot.

"Please take your shirt off and get on the exam table."

I stripped to the waist and hopped up. Fred started poking at me and got a slightly surprised look on his face.

"I don't think I'd loose more than 5 pounds if I were you." he said. "Exactly how much are you working out?"

I told him my routine. His only suggestion was more cardio, which we both agreed is one of the most boring form of exercise on the face of the planet.

He then whipped out the syringe for the flu shot and then gave me one of the most painless vaccinations I've ever had. I had to compliment him on his technique, since I hate getting shots.

"Well you're easy to give a shot to. You have plenty of muscle and not much fat."

Maybe all this exercise is paying off. At least I got an ego boost at the doctors. Now if I can get another 4% off my BMI.