Doris weighs in on the election

GoddamnitallJesusChristson-of-a-bitchingbastard!

This is a famous Doris quote. I heard it most of my childhood. Consequently, a lot of bad language got used around our house. Doris wasn't crazy about it when she heard these pearls coming out of our mouths, but there weren't any real consequences except in 2 instances which the old dear found absolutely unacceptable. One was the F-bomb. The other one was the N word. The only person in the house who didn't earn a slap in the mouth for using the N-word was the old man. Though he still heard about it, usually accompanied by a string of invective which explained in graphic detail exactly why my mother didn't want to hear this word coming out of anyone's mouth in her house.

So, I called Doris up tonight to see what she thought of the election results.

"Thank God! I wouldn't have been able to put up with it if that sick old man and that idiot of a moron woman had been put in the White House. He's old and sick and wouldn't have lived 4 years and the thought of that stupid woman as president just made me sick. We've already had to put up with too much from that stupid idiot that's in the White House now. I can't tell you how proud I am that Vermont voted for Obama. I remember when Franklin Roosevelt was elected so I've seen a lot of presidents. George Bush will go down in history as the worst president we've ever had. I am so relieved that we finally elected someone with a brain in their head. After the last 8 years, I don't think the country could have survived any more. This is worse than the Great Depression. It was different back then, people didn't have much in the first place."

Doris went on like this for a half an hour. This is an 82 year old woman who never went past high school. She spent her childhood in the depression in a single parent home. She has lived her entire life in what I believe is still the whitest state in the country. She watched both of her brothers go off and fight in WWII. She has never lived far from the town she grew up in. There is no reason that she should have been anything other than a small minded, small town, bigot.

Instead she does her best to be as accepting as she can be. She says things sometimes that make me want to crawl under a rock, but by her lights she does her best. When my younger sister was dating a black man and my father started acting up, she made him go to their parish priest for a little talk and he was basically told not to come home till he'd got himself straightened out. She also put a couple of words in the priest's ear about what she expected for results.

Now this woman has a black man for a president and couldn't be happier and prouder. If there is any better example of what "real Americans" are, I don't know what it would be. So, it would seem that small town, small state people, people that are having a hard time getting by these days also believe in change. Against what we have been told, little old ladies who have met very few people of color, who don't live in great intellectual centers still have the common sense to vote for someone because than can see what they are capable of and aren't too concerned about what color they are.

And if Barrack needs a hand, he can give Doris a call. She'll slap any trouble makers into shape. You can trust me on that one.