Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Crazy management

So far this week has been another study in crazy. I have to admit, I am getting a little tired of damage control. A good example is coming into work this morning to discover that departmental web access was down. I could access the system from my laptop over wireless, but as far as using my desktop computer went I was SOL. I don't do IT administration. That did not stop anyone from calling me up and either bitterly complaining, or demanding that I do something to rectify the situation immediately. While a lot of this is just the nature of my job, it does get wearing.

In my personal life, I have been on about an equal slide. I have been trying to take off a few pounds with no luck, which has been crazy making. For some reason, which I am willing to chalk up to work stress, I haven't been sleeping well which has been making me cranky. Which has been making me anti-social. Life just feels like it is slipping out of control. Not major nervous breakdown material. Just poorly managed.

So, I am trying to get as much of my crazy under control as I can. I received sound advice on the diet front from my friend the office babe. Fuck it. So I am going to live with the extra weight and have faith that I will get things back under control in the fullness of time. I am also going to have an initial appointment with a shrink tomorrow, and see what I can do about managing the rest of the crazy in my life. I am not sure how much immediate good that will do, but at least I feel as though I am trying to take some positive action in my life.

I think when I was younger I believed that you hit some magical number and then woke up, able to cope with any situation. Now that I am on the down hill side of middle age and only a couple of years away from once again switching demographics, I feel as though, while I am not dealing with a lot of the emotional turmoil that comes with youth, that I am having to deal with a whole new set of complex challenges and there's lots more on the road ahead. So managing the crazy it is. Maybe I should do what the rest of the country does and just go shopping.